Breaking up is never easy..

One day I was discussing relationships and breakup with a bunch of friends.. Following were the things they narrated about how breakup affected them..
  
Miss A: "I felt physically sick and threw up all the time. I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep..all I could think about was him and why he cheated on me, why me?"

Mr. L: "First I felt a bit relieved but gradually as it started sinking in..I got restless.. It felt like somebody punched me hard in my stomach.. It came out of the blue..maybe that's why I couldn't fathom initially."

Miss M: "I was devastated. I didn't know what to do. I would pray, 'God let me sleep.' And the moment I got up, the vacuum used to consume me and felt like someone really close to me died. Then it hit me - my relationship died."

Mr. C: "I cried for the first time in my life. I never imagined that someone had the ability to cause me such great amount of hurt"

It wont be an exaggeration if I say that breaking up is one of many difficult things that one faces during their lifetime. For many it is an unavoidable situation as heartbreaks  inadvertently happens to almost everyone. Unless you pick the right person at the first attempt which is quite rare.

That feeling of sudden vacuum kills from inside. You just don't know how to get rid of the feeling that you are 'feeling', no matter how hard you try. It is a phase when seeing happy couples makes you sad. Every sad songs appears to made for you. Every romantic song breaks your heart.

So, how to deal with breakup? Besides getting a haircut, going on a holiday and eating buckets of ice-cream!

• First step is accept. Accept that your relationship is over. 
• Get some closure. Having the last talk helps. Call and make a fool of yourself but get some closure. Get all your questions answered. Even if the answers hurt, it will help to you to move on. It is the unanswered things that haunt and never allow to move on. You keep wondering 'Why', 'What if', 'Was it real', 'Was it my fault' and so on.
• The worst thing you can do is set yourself on a self destruction path. Like many take up to various vices - drinking, smoking etc. It is not going to help even a bit. Your x wont care if you are sloshing yourself. You would just end up with one more problem to deal with, i.e. addiction. 
• Cry your heart out. Bottling it up will only delay the healing process. Sooner or later you will explode during an unexpected time. So its better you cry and get it out of your system. 
• I won't lecture that rebound relationships are a strict no-no. As long as you make it clear to the guy/girl that you are not looking for something serious at this point and they are on the same page, you can enjoy few dates. If it helps to distract and have some fun, why not? Just keep things crystal clear. Don't manipulate, lie, over-promise. The last thing you want is to break someone's heart while dealing with your broken heart.
• Don't stalk your ex. Apart from being extremely creepy, it will make getting over the breakup even more difficult.
• Burn, delete and donate stuff that reminds you of your x.
• Write down your feelings. At times it is difficult to discuss your feelings with friends and family as you fear being judged or simply, you don't want to bother them. So start blogging, write in your diary or use social media as a platform. There are various forums where you can post anonymously and share your feelings. 
• Don't be too hard on your self. Each person is different so is every relationship. Some may take only few weeks to feel normal whereas some may take months or years. Be patient and don't compare yourself with others.
• Don't shy away from taking help. Be it a close friend, sibling or parents. If you feel too depressed, seeking professional help is a good idea. 
• Pick up some hobby or dive neck deep in work once you are done crying.
• Write down reasons why you broke up on a post-it and pin it where it is most visible. Read every time you feel like calling or writing your x.
• Lastly, if your intuition says it isn't over, then maybe it isn't. I know many couples who got back together for better after breaking up. 
• If the breakup was a result of some misunderstanding or your wrong habit/attitude, make efforts to change that. Once your x partner sees that you are a changed man/woman, who knows.. they might take you back. Or else at least you would learn an important lesson and reflect it in your next relationship.

Current status of friends mentioned in the beginning.

Miss A: "I am still not over him, though its been more than 5 years. I am in a relationship with a wonderful guy but I still love my x. God knows when will I be over him."

Mr. L: "I laugh at my immaturity and silliness when I look back. Though I respect my past, I am glad that it didn't work out with my x. We weren't meant for each other. Now I am married and love my wife. I am truly happy!"

Miss M: "I am in my happiest phase right now. Touch wood! I have an amazing boyfriend and we are in a steady relationship."

Mr. C: "I happy being single. I realised, I don't have what it takes to maintain a serious relationship. Maybe few years down the line, I will think about dating someone. But right now I am too busy with work."

As you can see, they all have moved on for better. It was painful but now they all (most of them) are happy. The only way out is to go through mess. So don't worry, the worst will be over soon. Just be strong!